father and son

There were artifacts in my childhood that sustained me against a sea of trouble Shakespeare couldn’t have imagined. Music was one of those things that kept my heart buoyant through the storms. Tiny life rafts that opened up passages to secret, inner islands. Now, here I am, a father- listening to a son far away, thanks to gift of cell phones and media- carried on his raft of song. The silent suffering of parents estranged from family is almost bearable, if the song and voice doesn’t make you cry.

I am not worried about my masculinity being threatened- damn it…


Other People’s Photos

Everyone has a story. It’s filled with history, artifacts, other characters, love, fear, mistakes. Watching other people’s photos gives you insight, at least into the good parts. There has been a lot of good parts. Very few pics remain. They only exist on FB, and if it goes, so does my history. Oh well, Monks do all that work on sand paintings, only to sweep it up and let go, maybe I will, too.

Before they go, would you like to see?

Me and maternal grandfather, Howard Knox.

When I say I came from a school of hard Knox, well, here was a true cowboy in…


Evolving Self

Imagine for a moment you are God. Do not worry if God allows for this or even likes this. I will take full ownership. “Seriously, God, John Devil made me do it. You know how thinking is! He says pink elephant, and suddenly I have a pink elephant. I can’t not think pink elephants. Damn you, John. LALALALA.” Anyway, back to being God. All things that exist, or don’t exist but are merely symbolic representations of things that exist, and don’t exist, are all contained in a God state. …


Space Force

There was a time I knew something about ranks and insignias. My father was Navy. He rose to E8-Senior Chief before he retired. I was in ROTC in high school, and knew what I needed to know- way back when. That was 1984 to 1986, so I guess it’s okay I didn’t retain it. Like my piano skills, if you don’t use it, it goes away. Due to severe asthma as a child/adolescent, I wasn’t able to follow my father into the military. I would just dream of service- in Star Trek styles Space Force… A video by Battle Order…


Reaction Videos

I just stumbled upon an older video, from 2019, about a fan of Lost and Space who made a reaction video to the trailer. It got seen, picked up, and resulted in the cast and crew, complements of Netflix, treating her to brilliant time in DC. I was actually tearful. Like, genuine tears. Yes, yes, I am old, and I am getting more and more sentimental all the damn time. I am not sure why this moved me so much. Was it because of seeing her emote? Was it because the genuine niceness of the stars interacting with her? See…


Beyond Zen

I don’t expect anyone to spend 14 hours listening to a podcast, listening to two intelligent people banter about the nature of reality. Some of that dialogue felt unnecessarily contentious, argumentative over what seemed like useless distinctions. Then again, that is the nature of science and philosophy, to draw us ever closer to a precise description of consensus reality. It may be necessary to explore an exhausting list of semantics to get close to the edge of perceptual reality. There does seem to be an edge, a boundary where language as we understand it can’t take us further. There is…


Vanishing Stars

Apparently 800 stars have gone missing. Here’s a link to an article, but I would start with Anton Petrov’s video. One, you should always start your day with, “Hello, wonderful person.” That, or Mr. Roger’s theme song. You think I am being funny, but seriously, it’s nice to have such a calm, peaceful greeting. A consistently, pleasant greeting. Consistently nice is super nice. Just a heads up about this video. Anton speculates aliens. Seriously! He is not saying it’s aliens, but I can’t recall one time that he has speculated aliens, or mention aliens as frequently as he did in…


AI and Humans

5k immersion is upon us. The internet of things may come alive as unimaginable levels of data start percolating through the system. This assortment of data will be real time, tangible data, and subjective, ambiguous human data. I wonder if the wireless internet is like a soft, blue glow of light, like clear skies, illuminated 24/7. I wonder if my childhood experience of being out of body immersed in a blue light, like sustained lightening… is it this? Am I just an object in a giant internet of things? Am I contained in a simulation?

Are you familiar with this…


UFOs and Wars

How do you rush a madman who is holding a bomb and a dead man’s switch? I suspect you can’t come at them straight. Maybe you can’t come at them at all. Do you tell a joke, establish rapport, and try and talk them down? How do you stop crazy? Do you ridicule them? Do you ignore them? How do you de-escalate a situation that’s dire? How do you take away the person, or persons, or situation’s power without assuming the power and becoming the very thing you oppose? …


Worlds Within

Whether we are discussing spirituality, UFOs, or the inner human psyche, we seem to keep confronting ourselves on a boundary of subtle experiences- like surfers rising to the peak, only to crash and the preponderance of water and force reminds us we need to swim or drown. I spend more time in the the inner worlds than I do my small, sliver of reality. I suspect there is more to Jung’s writings, active imagination, shadow work, and the collective unconscious than even the experts allow. The Red Book, for instance, could be evidence for Jung experiencing psychosis, which would explain…

John Ege

I am a father, a counselor, and have been fortunate enough to have traveled the world. I enjoy writing, exploring consciousness, and listening to others.

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