UFOs and Scientists
Sometimes, I see the line up of news and just don’t even want to bother. Even when it’s a string of science articles. My eyes struggled yesterday where all I saw was, “scientists say,” “scientists baffled,” “scientists announce,” “scientists worry,” “scientists found,” “scientists say, we’re fucked,” “scientists warned…” Is it scientists that move the world? Are they not one of us? Then I found the monotony breaker: An Unknown Radio Signal has Come from Space, and We Need to Figure Out What the Hell It Is.
That was a bit dramatic. Scientist are hysterical. Scientist go nuts, losing all sense of decorum, running through the streets, naked, “Eureka! It’s Aliens…” (Or gay pride week? (Where else can a fellow run naked in the streets? (Do aliens wear clothes?))) Alright, just stop it, John. Pull yourself together man. Hey, I am not a man, I prefer alien. It got pulled in because I thought it might be my return signal, but got all sad when I got a ‘this number was disconnected…’ “The page could not be found.”
The most important moment in history when we realize scientist are human, they’re us, and we pull the feed. Nothing to see here. If that aint scientist Murphy messing with me, again.
I did find another article on the mysterious signal, or so I think. It would be nice to have data from the first to link it to the second, so I could be mistaken. Anyway, and much less dramatic: A mysterious new radio signal discovered in deep space has astronomers baffled, by Joshua Hawkins, Astronomy. The title is still baffling. They know what it is. Sort of. It’s a neutron star.
The group of researchers named the neutron star responsible for the pulse PSR J0941–4046. They say that it has some characteristics of a “pulsar” or even a “magnetar.”
So, not aliens, yet. But meanwhile:
It came from space. Not just space, but deep space. Like the Wow signal, we now know it’s origin, plus or minus 50 feet and the probability it’s a sandwich warming in a microwave.
Scientists announce a breakthrough in determining life’s origin on Earth — and maybe Mars, by Foundation for Applied Molecular Evolution. That poor scientist. His parents couldn’t have named him something simple, like, John? How is it we know how to kill life, make greenhouse gasses, and now might know how it all started, but we can’t sustain or reverse damage? But alright. I might not have read further, except they included Mars. Scientist do believe there was or still is life on Mars. They’re just afraid to say it. Without caveats so when they get it wrong they can say, plus or minus 50 feet, Dagwood sandwich.
In another news piece, ‘scientists’ was dropped and replaced with ‘astronomers.’ It’s necessary to mix it up, you know. Unknown structure in galaxy revealed by high contrast imaging, by Alma Observatory. I think I met Alma. A very cute and clever astronomer. The structure was found because of ‘a faint radio emission,’ and very interesting, ‘as a result of achieving high imaging dynamic range…’ Scientists are 420 friendly! Thank God! Can we all stop pretending and pass the brownies already?! I can’t do the gummies or the Skittles because I always end up eating the whole bag. Taste the rainbow was never this good!
Perhaps you are now thinking, John, seriously, what are you smoking. I will have you know, I don’t smoke or vape, thank you very much. Brownies. Gummies. There on my list. I would like DMT, and a sitter. Or some Shroom chocolates, and a sitter. But I think I could draw a line from the above three articles and connect them with this:
The aliens are all hanging out on Dyson spheres circling white dwarfs, physicist argues, by Paul Sutter. Thank you, Mr. Sutter for switching it up. Physicists say… Say what?! Wait wait wait. Hypothetically, if we are in a simulation… Aliens Created Our Universe in a Lab, Scientist Suggests… Could it possibly be, flat-earthers are remote-viewing scientists?!
Hold on. Don’t get mad. I am just the messenger. Not high enough yet to like be stoned to death. But, seriously, hypothetically, if you live on the inside surface of a Dyson Sphere, would the world not appear flat? Just saying! OMG, what if humans already destroyed the planet and the aliens relocated us to a laboratory, a cell on the inside of Dyson sphere, that completely resembles Earth as we know it, and we just continued on without batting an eye because we don’t look up? The rapture happened! Aliens are studying us to figure out what to do with this poor lot. Several cells over, you’ll find the dinosaurs. They’re doing well, even after hundreds of millions of years. ANd they call us the smart ones.
Wait a minute. That means the world ended yesterday!
For the World is Hollow and I Touched the Sky
Star Trek! We live in the holodeck. How about that! UAP EP 44, Are Aliens Abducting Humans to Create a New Race, by Stephen Diener… No, Mr. Diener. They’re making clones and we wake up on the inside of Dyson sphere. Have woken up? Woke enough to know we shifted?
Wait! The Dyson sphere, connects to super structure which is making radio signals that scientist are desperate to figure out what the hell it is!
Seriously, you don’t need to be a science fiction fan. You just got to read the news. UFO: Everything we know so far about the flying saucer phenomena, by Rupendra Brahambhatt… I have never heard of this agency… Oh, person. I get so confused when we switch it up. I don’t think her history goes back far enough, but okay!
Einstein’s Spooky Action at a Distance Becomes even Spookier: Quantum Physicists Create a New Universe, are we still talking about aliens created the universe in the lab? No, it’s just the cell next door in our Dyson sphere. I think there is six cells beside us. Each cell is a hexagon. Fuck, aliens are bees! We are the larvae of souls! Or the food. Good times are here, honey.
High times? Interstellar Travel Could Be Possible Even Without Spaceships, Scientist Says, Evan Gough, Universe Today, June 1st, 2022. What is Gough saying? Wait wait wait. That story about the Sumerians and planet X. Is Gough saying that’s real? No fucking way! Looks like picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue. Russian scientist said the moon is hollow, is it a spaceship! Oh, well, they’re just Russian scientist. What do they know?! What grade of pot do they have access to? Wait! NASA said the moon rang like a bell! It’s hollow. How many African folk lore said the moon broke like an egg and life spilled out onto the earth?
Are scientist trying to tell us aliens are real, and we are them?
Scientists Have Established a Key Biological Difference Between Psychopaths and Normal People, by By NANYANG TECHNOLOGICAL UNIVERSITY JUNE 1, 2022…
I can’t make fund of an Asian name. Wait a minute. Two ex wives being Asian qualifies me for making a joke? My next, and last wife, she will be an alien. Just saying.
Hold up a just damn minute, scientists! Has anyone ever defined NORMAL? Seriously, I have a DSM V right here, and all I see are deviations from the norm, but no definition of norm. Does that mean we’re all fucking nuts?
Scientist: “I don’t know what normal is, but I know what it isn’t and I will point to it when I see it… What’s the hell is that radio signal?!” Abby Normal signal from space, scientist discover aliens are retards.
