As a Scottish Rite Free Mason, I think you have no business doing the 'outing' business in a public forum such as this. The fact that you have to explain to the uninitiated why you suspect he isn't is in itself suspect. His affiliation, or lack there of, is none of your business. (drawing circle around your heart. Point.)

If a person has a problem with his brother, he goes to the brother. When that fails to resolve things, you go the lodge. When that fails, the grand lodge. By the points, brother. Get yourself in line before getting someone else in line

To have met a person's wife, 'very welcoming and decent...' means you were well received. Come on, Brutus. Put the pen down. None of this is cool.