Bullying was the word I was searching for earlier. So, thumbs up on the added paragraph.

I love Robin Williams. As a counselor, I know those words he spoke are real- most the time, people who are hurting hurt others... There is a truth/wisdom to that- something that is way too easy to forget in the heat of a moment, or when sorting a thought, and so even I need to remember to slow down and sort things...

And I even think 'bullying' has a normative function that society forgets. It's not enough to just say no bullying. It's not enough to punish bullies- cause when you sort that, there tends to be another bully behind that- often a parent/child relationship...

Moving a lot, as I did, bullying was something I experienced. I was fortunate enough to have moved so frequently, I got to figure out different strategies to overcoming. Fighting tended to escalate things, and as the new guy, I would be considered the instigator, mostly because the others were already socially established. Deflection worked, "you think I am fat, look at that kid..." That worked so well I was sick over that. Never did that again, and to this day I tend to intercede when I see people being ridiculed. Not fighting, but holding my ground worked; I would get beat up, but usually, not twice because I didn't run away. Humor tended to work best, cause if you could make someone laugh, or you could laugh at yourself- people realize you're okay, and let you in.

There were time when my jokes were mean, and I became the one making fun of someone. It usually didn't start that way, but on getting a laugh I escalated, and got meaner. A reflection of the sarcastic environment I grew up in? Sideways, passive aggressive was the only way to move because going straight at someone got you clobbered. I was fortunate enough to have friends that called me out on that BS. I was lucky to hold enough empathy to realize I am idiot. But it leads me to this, how much of my own hurting resulted in hurting others? How often is it that in our social game play, things escalate because we fail to find ways to communicate- true listening.

And so, my initial comment may be observing something, but it is likely insufficiently nuanced to capture how complicated this social thing is we're doing- and when I take a step back, I have to wonder- is society still learning this lesson? Because we all forget- the young, the old, even the ones who have sought neutrality in order to be able to report rationally this landscape we all need to traverse.

Human society is complicated. Thank you, friend.