Dark cake humor to lift the spirits. Is there any good way to discuss medical stuff, or even engage medical stuff, without humor? I am going to admit to something dreadfully sad as a reader, and male; you had me at boob. The rest was icing on the cake, if you permit.
I assume the spatula is because if someone were to use hands it might be suggestive of fondling? Have we really arrived at all touch is sensual, even medical touch? In truth, I would be terribly upset, to the point of resisting, if testicles were so handled. I think there is a limit to t-smashing. Colonoscopy and prostate exams, that wasn't so bothersome in reality, but in thought I am like, there's got to be a better way... But more, I am like, who signs up to do this job? Me, working on MD... Nope, nope, seen enough a-holes, I am done... Sorry, John, but we don't enough and this is your only free ride to medical... Damn it.
We have had atom smashers for a while now, you would think we'd have something better than boob smashers. Where is my Star Trek medical tricorder? What happened to that light medical device that they touch you with essentially a flashlight and you map out the body?
Sigh, in the end, aren't we all treated like meat? Doctors don't have time or the desire to actually talk to us. The morgue guy, he's talking to us, but I am dead and that resonates creepiness all the way into the afterlife.
If it helps, that future catscan with dye/contrast, it isn't as unpleasant as all my friends made out. I know men can get breast cancer, but I am just going to have to die because i don't enough boob to squash, and quite frankly, all these boob smashing horror stories scare me. No matter how much icing you slather on it.