I don't think it's about Halloween. It can be anything, and humans will find a way to limit inclusivity. I had the fortune/misfortune of moving a lot, my father being military. I was always weird, but moving made my being weird an artifact of exclusion, not celebration of uniqueness. It also taught me a good deal about bullying. At first, I got defensive. That usually made it worse. Things escalates, I got beat up. Surprisingly, the weird one was usually considered the instigator. Next move, I tried deflecting. 'You think I am fat, look at that kid over there.' That worked. I hated I did that. In fact, that still bothers me and it informs my response when I witness bullying to this day. I insert myself into that drama and shut it down, or become the recipient of that energy. I moved. Again, people bully. Most the time, they're testing your metal. I chose not fighting, but not running away, and holding my ground often resulted in an ass whooping. Most the time, people didn't bully you after that. Holding ground, but not escalating, sometimes that results in peace. Still, being beat up is not the best solution set. Learning to laugh and spin an insult into a humor usually had the best outcomes.

I can only imagine the kinds of hells we subject teenagers to these days. All the literature suggests social media is driving anxiety and depression, especially for teens, and how do you escape that reality when it follows you everywhere your phone is?! The enemy is no longer at school, or the backyard, they're in your mind and pocket.

How many truly safe places are there? Forget about the zero tolerance BS. That rhetoric just drove bullying underground, and made abusers smarter... The thing about abusers, they're usually being abused... How do we interrupt? How do we help people discover their own strengths?

I think we do what we have always done. We have conversations. Sophisticated, nuanced, with teachers educated to see through the BS that we all use as shields so that we can find our common humanity. As we help people realize we are experiencing the same fears and anxiety, empathy tends to go up.

There is no pure solution, no right answers. Some people need more empathy. Some people need more boundaries. We could probably use some recognition that if we're going to love, there will be broken hearts. You don't become a world class guitarist without some calluses.