I suppose if "We do not attract what we want, we attract what we are" is true, then we do indeed marry the 'right' person, because the solution becomes not change others but ourselves. Man in the Mirror level magic here, Jungian or Michael Jackson. If who we marry is based on subconscious patterns, and not intentionally conscious decisions, then the more unconscious we live our life, the more the universe sends you wake up calls. The pattern isn't wrong. The choice isn't wrong. It was the most perfect thing in helping you realize what you don't want sufficiently to get off autopilot and live your life consciously. :)