Imagine being a man who wants to be a stay at home father having to answer all the questions you did, and being equally judged by women and men, and isolated. My ex had the luxury of being a stay at home mom, but also continuously reminded me how she could earn more if she worked. She wouldn't trade out. In truth, she was a better stay at home mom than I would be a stay at home dad; as a four star chef, there was always good and nutritious food available. She was always available.

In truth, the only thing that matters is our son always had someone home with him, went to school with him, picked him up. My mother worked. My father was frequently at sea (22 years Navy.) I cooked a lot. We ate a lots of burnt food.

I think we all kind of agree that our kids do better if there is a parent at home. They statistically do better if they have two parents. They statistically do better if they have at least one meal with family, compared to peers that don't. And yet, that is not the world we live in. Families are broken. Our diner companions are televisions or smart phones. There is epidemic levels of anxiety, depression, loneliness, and an unwillingness to commit to long term relationships.

That wanting to be a stay at home parent you describe, the joy of watching your kids and thinking your heart might burst, I think that's just recognizing the only true value is the persons your children are, who they will be, and love. That's just right. Who wouldn't want that? Nothing I ever do will ever be better than the times I have spent with my son, with a partner, or the kindness I offer to strangers. How much money I made won't be remembered by anyone that gives a damn about me as a person.