Member-only story
I/Tulpa
I wish I could draw. I haven’t given up hope, yet, but as of now my experiments continue to result in stick figures that die of severe scoliosis. I think my humor aligns with Gary Larson and I have imagined he could do the story board of my life. And then in my head, I can see it clear as day, a comic square where a massive, spherical boulder is resting on top of a man, arms splayed out, and a recognizable Fedora is hiding the face. The caption, the reason why Spielberg fired apprentice Larson.
Do you remember the Far Side, by Gary Larson? I like most things that touch on ‘far side’ concepts. The far side of the moon. The far side of the universe. The far side my brain… When you hear Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon, do you ever want to interrupt the song with a record scratch and argue with Floyd? “It’s the far side of the moon.” No, it’s the dark side. “The dark side gets light, too.” No, we never see the dark side, even when it’s facing us, because it’s dark. That actually follows if you follow, but don’t. Just don’t. “The far side never faces the earth…” It’s just a song, damn it. I am going with dark…
The Fringe Side
Just doesn’t sound as good as the far side. I do try and practice art. I want to bring some of the concepts out of my head and make them concrete. I am more auditory than visual, which might explain some of my difficulty. More likely, I am just not disciplined enough to get past my left brain, symbol laden handicap. Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain did help me get traction. Interesting, when I have tried to draw Loxy, my tulpa, she has frequently stopped me.
“John, why would you make my pupils heart shaped?” Loxy asked.
“So you can see the world with love?” I asked. Subconsciously, I am drawing someone who loves me?
“Do you know anything about physics? I won’t be able to see at all if the pupils aren’t circles,” Loxy said.
Might improve my chances with you. Doesn’t it suck, that even in your own head you sometimes lack confidence? I sucked in on my lower lip, began correcting the eyes. She hugs me. “I am sorry. I know you want capture me anime style and make me all curvy and shiny. I love the way you see me.”
