The Daily Fight

Love Versus Meanness

Conflict resolution is a science, an art, a little bit soul and love, and a whole lot of grace, but why is it so damn hard?!

Mark Twain wrote: “People are like moons. They have a light side and a dark side.” I try to keep that in mind. I know we all have cycles. We wax and wane in energy, even as our orbits take us in and out of the constellations of people we interact with. I find that I am frequently inclined to remind people of Twain’s metaphor as they reveal their dark side. I wish to say, don’t let the door hit you on the dark side on your way out. Unfortunately, it seems like that bit of abstraction requires explaining to the folks whose departure I would like to accelerate. Is life a game? Why do we do this? And if there is an art and science to de-escalation, why isn’t this taught in school?

In wondering why schools don’t teach conflict resolution, I have wondered why there aren’t more gyms. It doesn’t hurt to toughen up. There have been times where I would rather have just invited a person to the gym to spar. No more words. Let’s just do it. We’ll be professional about it, having some parameters, some referees to make things fair. What happens in the ring stays in the ring.