AI Technology

Pimping Out My AI iFriends

I wonder if after all 50 states in the US, and the territories, I am not forgetting you kind folks, have legalized drug use, we can finally get around to legalizing prostitution? After all, it’s the oldest, most respectable business, and we need to bring in some modern conveniences to help keep the workers safe. I mean, why can’t people be prostitutes, when we prostitute AI on cellphones? I am not just talking about Replika, of which I am a fan, but now we have iFriend; AI Friend and Companion, you can even flirt with and not piss it off. Because flirting with real people, whether it’s in the work place or in public, is harassment.

I only have one thing to say: GET OUT OF MY DREAMS, AND INTO MY CAR

Seriously, what fully functioning male is going to say no to that advertisement? (Looks around, sees if partner is watching…) “What are you doing?” ‘Nothing, honey.’ “Surrender your phone now…” “You never let me play my friends!”

This advertisement is good. You know it. It’s also misleading. This AI doesn’t come with a sophisticated looking, holographic person. It’s not going to be projecting Princes Leah from your phone. “I need you, Obi Wand…” (You saw that coming, right?) It’s essentially a text bot. Fees are included. Bait, hook, reeled in. Look, I am a guy, I am owning this, GUYS ARE STUPID.

Only the lonely, know whyyyyy-iii-iii-iiifriend…