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Love and relationships
Maybe you have some ideas about love and relationships. Perhaps you wouldn’t want to hear from someone twice divorced. I do hope, if you’re consistent, you threw away that book, Men Are From Mars- Women Are From Venus, because that author was married/divorced five times. His wife, holding PhD in marriage and family therapy more than five times! If you hire Babe Ruth because he gets a lot of homeruns, bear in mind he also had the most strike outs.
Still with me? Nice. Here are some generalizations that works so well with me in analyzing patterns that individuals and couples engage in, that many seem amazed to find their thoughts and behaviors in relationships are so well explained. They are even more surprised that these patterns were solidified in their brains by age 4.
Our partner selection is solidified by age 4, unless something else traumatic happen. Hold onto that, we’ll swing around.
First rule of thumb. You will love others the way you most wanted to be loved. This is true regardless of family of origin, but if your family of origin was not quite right, this measure seems to be more pronounced.
Second rule of thumb. If you’re family of origin was reasonably healthy, you will choose partners that likely hold a gestalt of characteristics you enjoyed in two…
