Member-only story
Spiritual Life
Man, do I ever wish for some new UFO news to distract me from self reflection. My son gave me a comment that sent me reeling, unpacking my life back to childhood in ways I really would rather have not. I am not mad at him. I don’t quite know how to respond yet. My old self has a response. Two responses actually. Ignore it. Squash it. Both could lead to more of what no one wants. Competition for power that leads to bullying.
I have shared how my home environment was ripe for honing a level of meanness that was disguised as wit. The level of shaming and use of might makes right, coupled with every sin and abuse you can think of being in the family, led to anxiety, confidence issues, and to depression. One of the quickest, fastest way out of depression is anger. Interestingly, one of the escape at the time, was church. At risk of dogging the Church of Christ, it gave me more of the same, only it armed me with dogma. With religiosity weaponized, I was unleashed back on my family. Not just smoking is bad, but, per the family, I told my Baptist grandfather I am not going into that heathen, Baptist church at age 3. Further, you’re going to hell because you have instruments in the church.
And so, when a child is told he has problems because he doesn’t pray hard enough, talk about some righteous bullying leading to self-doubt…
