father and son
There were artifacts in my childhood that sustained me against a sea of trouble Shakespeare couldn’t have imagined. Music was one of those things that kept my heart buoyant through the storms. Tiny life rafts that opened up passages to secret, inner islands. Now, here I am, a father- listening to a son far away, thanks to gift of cell phones and media- carried on his raft of song. The silent suffering of parents estranged from family is almost bearable, if the song and voice doesn’t make you cry.
I am not worried about my masculinity being threatened- damn it, if this didn’t make me cry. :)
Sharing this is very personable. You can not come much closer to an author, a father- a human being than sharing in the joys that make life bearable. I think we sometimes forget- we all likely have someone that means the world to us.
Some of us humans are alone. Some of us are sustained by that first or second friendship.
Some of us, we only have the art, or the songs- or the fantasy relationship of the celebrities that populate our favorite movies or shows.
Some of us live by our dreams, our narratives.
I have this… This person who came into my life… The measure of a love is knowing your past and stating, I would relive my entire life over and again a million times without changing one thing- just to make sure I meet this one soul.
This here is not boasting. It is a celebration of joy and love, and the amount of emotions I had on finding the small interludes that get parceled out. Do I get just the good stuff? The shiny moments that are captured in film? Yeah. I realize, I am missing out, too.
Parents sometimes suffer in silence, a song or a photo the life raft that gets us to that next island. I wonder if there are any tulpa Wilson balls at this next stop.
Does he sing because he also misses, and suffers silently because parents couldn’t provide 18 years of consistency?
Father and Son are weird
I was always the weird one. Yesterday’s talk about school over skype, he stated ‘I’m weird.’ I don’t have clarity on what that means for him, but he recognizes he is different from peers in some way. I am biased, I think he is likely advanced… Maybe he is weird the way I was weird? Oh, wouldn’t it be funny if he were an Indigo child? A Starseed… Except, he is decidedly against UFOs being a thing, and quite clever in how he argues against it.
The fact that we have a pretend airplane and practice being Captain Sully and Jeffry Skiles, and can recreate the dialogue… Yeah, we’re weird… But that’s just the nature of the life raft we’re on. More islands to come. More songs to sing. More love to bring.