Aliens, jokes are on us…
My favorite subject! UFOs. Even if it’s nothing but a thought experiment, this is a pretty fun subject, don’t you agree? Sometimes, I almost want to believe that government agencies are slowly preparing us for disclosure. Take this one science based article, ‘Otherworldly’ wreckage found on Mars with rover copter. I wasn’t going to comment on it at all. It’s not what you think it is. I was mad I got clicked bait into something not UFO related. Are science magazines so short of viewers they have to trick UFO enthusiasts into reading their articles? Oh, yay, UFO enthusiasts save the world! We’re the only ones interested in science. How ironic!
Do you find it interesting that news article under the thumbnail discusses UFOs near the International Space Station, but they show UFO on earth? Seriously, don’t you suppose UFO enthusiast would notice we’re not in space?
Now mind you, the article I lead with about ‘other worldly crashes’ wasn’t wrong. Everything that was used to deliver a rocket safely to Mars has become rubbish or artifact. One person’s trash is another persons treasure? UFOs wreck on our planet, we wreck on theirs. Hypothetically, if we were smart, could we not be sending stuff that could be reused by future colonist? Can we send a robot, like Optimus to erect some buildings and greenhouse tents and start growing seeds so there will be enough food there so NASA can’t stop worrying about whether they should bury or eat dead astronauts?
They're seriously debating that. I know, this essay aint going to be dispersed far enough for my opinion to matter, but if you’ll allow my vote, as a tax payer, which makes me a share holder in the future of humanity in space, “NO!” No, let me be more precise, ‘FUCK NO!’ (Next headline, future humans time travel back to the 80s because they’re hungry and cannibals. Yeah, eating humans now couldn’t go wrong then.)
Here’s what I want when it’s my time to go:
Even now, I can’t watch that without my eyes watering. Spock! No, Spock. Would you eat Spock?! Fuck, why is that even on the table. That TNG episode where Data is cutting into cake Deanna Troi!
That’s seriously disturbing. I don’t want to eat Deanna Troi. Well, that’s not what I was thinking about when I was thinking about… Fine! Let’s eat cake.
Back to UFOs in the news…
Meanwhile, there are actually credible scientists considering the ramifications of UFOs being real, as evidenced by this article: Could An Alien Civilization Change the Laws of Physics to Gravity Powered Batteries (Planet Earth Report)… Yep, real article. It’s a day late and a dollar short. How long ago did the US Navy patent antigravity tech. It did. Someone owes the Navy money.
Lots of people are starting to realize this UFO topic aint going away. If you can’t beat them, join them. Or just profit off their dumbasses. Wait a minute! We’re not dumbasses. Then again, if you watch this UFO report from CNN, you might think we are dumbasses. Here is CNN recapping everything that I and others have been recapping for the last three years?
It’s a whackadoodle production. Kind of funny. I find it hard to take Chris seriously. Does Chris take Chris seriously? I don’t think he’s taking the subject seriously. The cow in the thumbnail, heading for the UFO? All it’s missing is the Chic’ Filet caption, “Eat chicken!” Just saying.
Even sports people are cashing in on the UFO story. “I don’t believe that,” Pat McAfee shocked about recent developments on UFOs and strange US government hearings on aliens on Mars… Wait. What about Mars?
This comes in after a space rover threw up distinct images of visuals that almost confirm the presence of another life form on Mars. Although it can be seen as a long shot, Pat McAfee could not help but comment on the issue at hand.
What the fuck?! What image? Where?! OMG, I want to see that. Are they talking about the doorway! Are they lying and it’s not a foot tall? Seriously, is NASA getting ready to tell us they have UFO wreckage on Mars and the survivors built a shelter to survive the harsh conditions, with lightsabers, because clearly that was machined, or they have lightsabers, while they waited for a rescue?
How the fuck does someone write that? Well, in fairness. I write that all the time, but at least I provide pictures or references! Oh, forgot. He’s just a sports enthusiasts. What does he know about science and AMA protocols on documenting sources, which I mostly ignore. Was he referring to this:
You’ll find the article below, modeling how they think life might have FORMED on Mars. Mind you, they don’t know how life formed on earth, but let’s model life forming on Mars, which means- they know life was on Mars? They found water on Mars, so still life on Mars? So, will it be Earth life, or Martian life? Is Martian life Earth life? Science has said Mars life migrated to earth. Do I have to relink that article? How many times now have I linked that article? A 6th grader could google and find that. It’s science. Does anyone read science?
UFO enthusiasts read science articles!
One step forwards, maybe not two steps? This Article keeps the UFO conversation constrained to 2004 and forwards. Notice all conversations about this seem constrained from 2004 forwards? Even in the Congressional hearing it’s seriously constrained, which makes you wonder if Moultrie’s mention of Roswell was an accidental slip of the tongue or intentional? Did you notice no Congressman jumped on Roswell. I would have so pounced on that! UFO report: 143 sightings since 2004 ‘unexplained’ says US intelligence…
This next story is still getting mileage, though it’s not constrained to the 2004 and forwards guide rails. How 62 children say they witnessed a UFO land outside school in one of the most compelling mass sightings of all time. No one seemed to give a damn when John E Mack wrote about it. But, eh, at least we’re moving forwards, right?
Are we moving forwards? Scientists Warn of ‘Significant’ Climate Effects of Frequent Space Launches. Really? Just when Elon Musk is ready to launch the big one and get us back to the moon? Just when NASA says we will meet aliens soon? Not observe from a safe distance. Meet. Like shake hands, grapple, wild sex orgies, and then eat the dead that didn’t survive the encounter.
Are they wanting Deanna Troi cake? Did I just hear Deanna’s voice say Eat Me? When astronauts start eating their dead, it will seriously change the meaning behind the ‘me too’ movement. I’ll let you unpack that.
One giant step forwards, 2 giant steps back. Seriously, is anyone bothered by the fact that we went to the moon using slide-rules, spit, and tinfoil, but we haven’t been back since the invention of smart phones? I am okay if you call me a tinfoil hat wearing conspiracy theorist, with a dark side that rivals a coupling of Quentin Tarantino and Tim Burton.
Send me some of the gold-tinfoil NASA used to make lunar modules, and I’ll be as happy as lark. Unless you make me eat our dead. Look, I know I am a whackadoodle, but isn’t anyone else bothered by piñata effigies that look like people, monsters, or animals?
I know it’s all in good fun and we’re going to get some candy out of them… Seriously, how is this not bothersome? And as robots and AI become citizens and recognized beings in society, do we need to reconsider how we treat inanimate objects because they might become smart objects?
I have problems hitting a piñata, but NASA is seriously debating eating dead astronauts. What’s next? Debating if a little necrophilism would be okay before we eat the dead? Per Sir Elton John, it gets lonely out in space… The fact that NASA’s origin is tied with Nazis and dark occult rituals doesn’t bother anyone?
Not that I am perfect. I have attended many a birthday with piñatas. I intend to participate in a future Burning Man and see the burning effigies, but it may depend on the shape of the thing to be destroyed. Maybe I’ll be more understanding after a dose of DMT. Anyone willing to hook me up with some DMT so I can speak to the plant people and feel better about the course humans are on? Maybe I could become enlightened enough to change the course humans are on?
UFO people? Are you reading this. I could use some help here. Beam me up!
Meanwhile, back on Earth…
John keeps trying to makes sense of all this. He is not alone. Apparently, I changed tense, so that’s weird. Who’s in here with me influencing my writing? No, no, don’t go there. “We’re life, John, just not as you know it.” Oh, that’s creepy. Interesting, but only likely to make circuits in medium quarters, Not Medium but medium who channel aliens and dead folks who we ate and they’re mad because they didn’t get a proper burial, but then, even Jesus said this is body, eat me, but maybe he was just telling us all to fuck off. I wouldn’t have been so forgiving if you had hung my ass up, but He’s the man, right? Lost in translation… That creepy could could also make rounds in mental health domains, or my Tulpa’s fan club. Loxy actually has a fan club.
You know I am certifiable, right? But you can trust Loxy because…
she can’t be convicted, she’s earned her degree
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you
But she’s always a woman to me
Lalalaa la laa, lalalaa la laaaa…
Oh, back to UFOs…
Man baffled after spotting ‘UFO’ flying through the sky above his home — and it’s not the first time he’s ‘seen’ one, is another fun article. He actually saw two. Maybe. It could have been the same craft, just two sightings. Semantics? Perspective. If it had time traveled forward, or backwards, would it be considered the same sighting, too?
The next article comes with a link to a news segment, which is better done than CNN. That’s funny. This was local, and likely produced by the journalists there, not by some big agency recycling news, who is ridiculing us even as they click bait us into reading their shit which is really recycling news, which mimics my gig. This one is covering old UFO stories, but in a nice historical time line kind of way.
Kind of like how I would like Congress hearings and legitimate journalism go at this subject. In the beginning, UFOs landed and created the Sumerian culture. This was the light. Stop eating your dead, grow crops, turn the world into a garden. Some other artifacts along the way. Foo Fighters. Roswell… What did we do those bodies?
Please tell me we didn’t eat them. Fuck if there is not a reckoning coming.
Go Texas! Don’t mess with Texas. We’ll forgive a crash. I will volunteer to help pick up exotic material. I promise, I’ll make sure no one eats the dead aliens. No one else, from here forwards, will eat the dead.
Though, considering the world might actually be seriously hungry soon, a little mana from heaven wouldn’t hurt.
